Thanksgiving means different things to different people. Some people love it because they get to spend time with their loved ones. Some people hate is because the have to spend time with their loved ones. For football fans it usually means one thing: eat a shit ton of food, get kinda drunk, and pass out while watching football. This year football fans get to watch three games. We kick things off with a little afternoon delight in Detroit with the Lions vs the Vikings. The 4:30 game is Washington in Dallas because Thanksgiving wouldn’t be the same without a Cowboys game. Then we cap the night off with Pittsburgh visiting Indianapolis to play the Colts. Now like I said before, Thanksgiving to us football fans means food and football. In this day and age is also means fantasy football. It got me thinking, which players on Thursday night will treat you as well as your favorite Thanksgiving foods. Well how about you pull up a seat and let me make you a dish.

RB Frank Gore, IND = Mashed Potatoes

We’ll start off with a little mashed potatoes and the mashed potatoes of Thursday’s games is Frank Gore. You can eat mashed potatoes really any day of the year. Much like mashed potatoes Gore is timeless and consistent. The man looks like he doesn’t age and has shown no signs of slowing down. In fact this season he has scored double digit fantasy points in every game but two and has not scored less than 7 fantasy points in any game. Slap a big old scoop, possibly two of some Frank Gore on your Thanksgiving plate and be ready to eat up another solid week of fantasy points.

DEF/ST Pittsburgh Steelers = Stuffing

Can’t have a Thanksgiving plate without a little stuffing. Stuffing is pretty good. It’s not my favorite but I know a lot of people who love it. However, stuffing is basically a Thanksgiving only dish. You’re not going to make some stuffing on any random night. Pittsburgh’s defense is the same way. They’re just alright, nothing special. But this Thanksgiving they have a chance to be great especially with Andrew Luck most likely out on Thursday with a concussion. Stuffing is best on Thanksgiving (and well the whole week after but leftovers don’t count) and the Steelers defense may be best on Thanksgiving as well.

WR Dez Bryant, DAL = Corn

Corn was basically invented on Thanksgiving. When the pilgrims and native americans came together to feast and make peace, corn was right there front and center next to the turkey. Much like mashed potatoes, however, corn can also be enjoyed year around. Your corn on this fantasy football plate is Dez. Dez has been around for quite some time now and has been catching passes and scoring TDs on Thanksgiving since 2010. He’s probably be getting the Josh Norman treatment Thursday night which could slow him down a bit but don’t let that scare you. Dez is used to the Thanksgiving stage and like corn he won’t let you down.

QB Matthew Stafford, DET = Cranberry Sauce

Let me start off by saying I love cranberry sauce. Like probably way more than most people. Cranberry sauce is delicious and I absolutely cannot get enough of it. It is a very underrated part of Thanksgiving dinner and it does not get talked about as much as is should. Matthew Stafford is cranberry sauce. When you think of elite fantasy QBs in the NFL I bet you think of guys like Rodgers, Brees, Brady, Luck, as you should. I’m sure there are not that many people who think of Stafford. He has quietly led Detroit to a 6-4 record and to first place in his division. Detroit is a pass heavy offense who faces a Minnesota defense who all of a sudden looks very vulnerable. This Thursday I will be filling my plate with cranberry sauce and Stafford will be filling your lineup with points.

Dallas Cowboys Offensive Line = Crescent Rolls/Biscuits

Crescent rolls and biscuits may not be the star of your Thanksgiving plate but they are just as essential to a successful plate as any other food. The Cowboys’ offensive line is the same way. Offensive lines can’t get you fantasy points. They are often overlooked by the common fan but without them your team will not have much success. A big part to the success of Zeke and Dak are the fact that they have one of if not the best offensive lines in football protecting them. They are the compliment to any successful QB or RB just like crescent rolls and biscuits compliment your Thanksgiving dish.

RB Le’Veon Bell, PIT = Turkey

Turkey is the king of Thanksgiving dinner. It’s the OG, the official holiday bird. Le’Veon Bell is your Thanksgiving Turkey this year. Bell has been a monster since returning from his suspension. He has 26 and 25 fantasy points in his last two games and does not look like he will be slowed down by a Colts defense who allows 20 fantasy points per game to opposing RBs. Load your plate with some Le’Veon Bell tomorrow because he will be lighting up the field. Turkey reigns supreme on Thanksgiving and Le’Veon Bell will be king of the land in your fantasy league. I just hope you have him on your team (like me).

Minnesota’s Run Game = Fruit Cake

What exactly is fruit cake? Is it even a Thanksgiving dish? I don’t know if I’ve ever even seen fruit cake. But what I do know is that everyone says it sucks. No body likes that shit. If there is fruit cake on your Thanksgiving table then throw it right in the garbage. Minnesota’s run game is fruit cake. I would never put fruit cake on someone’s plate and you should not have anyone from Minnesota’s backfield in your lineup. They are the worst run game in the league. The point I’m trying to make is stay away from any one of Minnesota’s RBs. They’re like fruit cake and no one wants that shit.

 

Well there you have it. I just made you a delicious plate of some of the most iconic Thanksgiving foods. If you have any of the guys I mentioned then you should be in for a good day from a fantasy perspective. Enjoy a nice day of family, friends, food, and football. Be safe and avoid the fruit cake if that’s something that’s even served on Thanksgiving. I don’t know. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

-Kev